For Ken - a few things they left out of your obituary

For Ken (November 2008)

What they forgot to say about Ken, a real brother and all-around decent guy…

Ken was a guitarist
and would throw his songbooks
on the floor
in front of his door
so every time he left his room
he would have to ask himself
“Is where I’m going
more important
than learning to play well.”

Ken was a watcher
of other guitarists…
he would study them,
regardless of their level.
He would pick-up a
trick or technique
that he could use
Or he would spot something
or even realize there is a song
that they should be doing
An occasional critic,
one of his best lines
to other musicians was
“If I had your talent
I would blow you away.”
(Yes, he pissed off some of his fellow musicians with that one)

Ken, while trying to get discharged from the Air Force,
or Air Farce, as he would call it,
wrote a letter to his superiors
that referenced his dislike for
military-compliant short hair
Which Ken maintained had no bearing
on his ability to do his job
“and if the person reading this
likes to wear his hair short,”
he wrote
“imagine if someone
arbitrarily
directed you to wear
a red bulbous nose.
You would feel
as foolish wearing a red bulbous nose
as I do
wearing my hair short.”

Ken also used his crusade for discharge
to quote Thoreau
and Tolstoy
in his letter requesting discharged
He also pointed out that
a recent celebration
over the Seawolf Nuclear Submarine launch
should be viewed with sadness
not celebration
which prompted
his superior officers
to go on a crusade of their own,
“Nerkowski is dangerous!”
They told all who would listen.
“I’ll tell you what,
if I was in a foxhole
under attack
he is not the person
I would trust
next to me!”
They were idiots!

Ken took the heat he received
in the military in stride
On one occasion
while the base was on full-alert
(Meaning the F-15s were ready on the flightline
and those on base were in full military gear:
helmet, gas mask, etc.)
Ken walked around wearing
a toy sheriff’s badge, cowboy hat and plastic cowboy gun
(this was an about $1.25 cost at the base exchange)
He somehow didn’t get caught
but it started to secure a legend for him

Ken was a huge fan of Doonsbury
and, taking a page from a strip
featuring Ambassador Duke,
(and inspiration from Dr. Hunter S. Thompson)
Ken was by my side as we were getting
yelled at by our Sgt for doing something stupid
when Ken interrupted him,
“Hey, wait a minute, this is not funny…”
“What isn’t funny, Nerkowski?” the Sgt barked back.
“No, really, you should at least be serious about this…”
“Nerkowski, I am serious, what the fuk are you talking about?”
“If you are serious, then take the beak off and talk to me like a man…”
“Beak? What the fuk are you talking about? What beak?...”
“No, that’s alright, I’ll play along. Continue sergeant, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You two fuk ups are going to end up in jail! Just keep this sht up…”

The Air Force and the government
wanted Ken
to be a linguist
To study
Chinese or Russian
Ken wanted
to be a cook
“Hey, I’m just a cook!”

Ken spent a lot of time
in the “uncomfortable middle”
The command target him
and were looking
for him to fuk-up
And the troops
watched him
and were looking
for him to rebel…
for them!
But he went about his
individualistic way
“Hey, I’m not
the entertainment here
I’m just a cook…
that’s all!”

Once back in New Haven,
Ken would sit in on Yale classes
and even do the assignments
and even get excited by the challenge
(Look at this number formula: from there we have to get to this answer, this number pattern, this is just cool…)
When someone would occasionally
razz him about it -
about going to classes and not getting a degree -
he would simply state
“Yea, but I’m getting a Yale education…
What do I need the degree for?”

Ken, on some party occasions,
would wear a dog collar around his neck
and respond to most inquiries
with a “Woof!”
(“No, Ken, really, have you seen the Crimson “Red” album anywhere?"
“Woof!”
“I really want to play that one. Any ideas where it is?”
“Woof!”
“Ok, fine, forget it…”
“Woof!”)

Ken would love to talk music
during parties
And once
while disagreeing with some
argumentative idiot
who maintained that Yoko shouldn’t be in John Lennon’s music
Ken flustered him with his argument that
(paraphrasing here)
“You can’t make that determination.
John Lennon is the artist and has already made the determination
that she belongs in the song.
That’s really the end of the discussion.
You might as well argue that the drums should be removed
or the guitar
or anything else that the artist decided to include.
Why not just remove the heart and soul of the art
since you already want to discard the mind of the artist.”
At some point,
this idiot unleashed a slew of profanities
and threw his drink at Ken
who disarmed the situation with a,
“Ahhh… a skilled debater as well.
I commend you on your debate technique sir.
Now if you’ll excuse me…”
He was a fuken classic!

Actually this asshole tried to apologize later
and was greeted with a “Woof!”

And while I can reason that Ken would have
gotten a kick
out of having his obit
in the same section as Mitch Mitchell’s...
It only masks the fact
that I don’t know what else to say

Ken, you touched a lot of us
and will be missed
We’ll never forget you, brother