50
Ttile: 50
Sub Title: New math for the people who can’t bear to face their actual age… or… my doctor tells me “Congratulations on reaching 50, we need to schedule you for a colonoscopy” – like that’s the fucken prize I win for turning 50 – and I make it in relatively good health – I cut down the drinking, eliminate the drugging, stopped smoking, cut my cholesterol and this is the “Congratulations, we’re glad you made it" prize? – I get to spend a day drinking some absolutely nasty shit that keeps me on the toilet all day so the next day someone can stick a tube up my ass and look around. Yea, congratulations! You made it to 50!
Text:
So, if 40 is the new 30…
And 60 is the new 40…
And 65 is the new 50…
Then 50 is the new 100,000!
It’s like my car
When it hit 100,000 miles
I couldn’t push it
like I used to
I knew it still had a lot left
but I needed to perform
routine maintenance
more regularly -
Like change the oil and
bring it in for a tune-up –
just to make sure
it keeps running OK
And… if it acts up
stalls, sputters,
makes unusual noises,
or just flat-out doesn't perform,
I need to have it checked-out
right away
because one thing
could lead to another
and I don’t need these
problems piling up on me.
I used to be
pretty cocky
with my car
And would push it
on occasion -
never backing down
if some asshole
on the highway
or beach road
would think their car
was bigger or faster.
I swear that thing
had a mind of its own
sometimes
when it came to tajing on
new challenges.
Today, though
the car is not as excitable
about those situations -
it isn’t as sharp, reckless,
or aggressive -
as it used to be.
We tend to stay away
from those fast and loose
situations
because the car’s performance
isn’t what it used to be.
I tend not to
push it
on long drives either -
the just pack-up
and take-off
to wherever
trips -
Pick-up hitch hikers
and just drive...
or just quick rides here and there...
That’s a younger car’s game.
But it’s a good car
It’s been loyal to me
and served me well.
And I’m sure
it has
some good miles -
maybe not great miles -
left.
I just need
to treat it
right.
Sub Title: New math for the people who can’t bear to face their actual age… or… my doctor tells me “Congratulations on reaching 50, we need to schedule you for a colonoscopy” – like that’s the fucken prize I win for turning 50 – and I make it in relatively good health – I cut down the drinking, eliminate the drugging, stopped smoking, cut my cholesterol and this is the “Congratulations, we’re glad you made it" prize? – I get to spend a day drinking some absolutely nasty shit that keeps me on the toilet all day so the next day someone can stick a tube up my ass and look around. Yea, congratulations! You made it to 50!
Text:
So, if 40 is the new 30…
And 60 is the new 40…
And 65 is the new 50…
Then 50 is the new 100,000!
It’s like my car
When it hit 100,000 miles
I couldn’t push it
like I used to
I knew it still had a lot left
but I needed to perform
routine maintenance
more regularly -
Like change the oil and
bring it in for a tune-up –
just to make sure
it keeps running OK
And… if it acts up
stalls, sputters,
makes unusual noises,
or just flat-out doesn't perform,
I need to have it checked-out
right away
because one thing
could lead to another
and I don’t need these
problems piling up on me.
I used to be
pretty cocky
with my car
And would push it
on occasion -
never backing down
if some asshole
on the highway
or beach road
would think their car
was bigger or faster.
I swear that thing
had a mind of its own
sometimes
when it came to tajing on
new challenges.
Today, though
the car is not as excitable
about those situations -
it isn’t as sharp, reckless,
or aggressive -
as it used to be.
We tend to stay away
from those fast and loose
situations
because the car’s performance
isn’t what it used to be.
I tend not to
push it
on long drives either -
the just pack-up
and take-off
to wherever
trips -
Pick-up hitch hikers
and just drive...
or just quick rides here and there...
That’s a younger car’s game.
But it’s a good car
It’s been loyal to me
and served me well.
And I’m sure
it has
some good miles -
maybe not great miles -
left.
I just need
to treat it
right.
posted by Kane | 5:37 PM
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