Menieres

Menieres Feb 2002

"Menieres" is a word that sounds harmless
"Menieres" is a word that sounds almost sweet
But don’t be fooled
because the not do sweet sounding
word “disease” always follows
Menieres Disease has caused me headaches
that have made me dizzy
and nauseous
and has made it almost impossible for me to focus on anything
and have generally made me wish
I would just fucken die
Menieres has caused a ringing in my ears
that has kept me awake at night
Menieres has caused vertigo
to tangle my usually balanced steps
Menieres is a bad mother-fucker
So far I am no match for the occasional episode
of this rare disease
and I refuse to take medications
which all made me feel worse
so I take various vitamins
by the handful
and that has helped
a lot
(I showed my doctor
the list of vitamins I took to help
My doctor
In his best med-school whine
said – imagine it in a whine -
“well, I guess
that can’t hurt…”)

but Menieres taunts me
episodes can be caused by:
nicotine (so I quit smoking)
caffeine (so I quit caffeine)
salt and bad dieting (so I quit french fries)
loud music (so I quit turning it up – and playing with drummers)
stress (I couldn’t quit working… or the wife and kids)
alcohol (I quit drinking in excess – nothing more than one beer a day for me!)
and
no kidding!
“experiencing orgasms”

I will give up all but experiencing orgasms
as I don’t believe an orgasm
has yet caused an episode
and if it does – or has -
I’ll stay in denial
(hey – it’s a male thing,
like never asking for directions,
watching sports
and, well,
obsessing about experiencing orgasms)

And if there is a god,
I need to ask her,
what the FUCK
did I EVER
do to YOU?!?