Otis

Otis… (July 2005)
My man!
We would go on
Long walks together
Sometimes twice a day
We wouldn’t talk
We would just walk
For exercise
Or just to clear our heads
And so Otis –
My big black setter-type dog –
Could relieve himself
I don’t know which one of us enjoyed those walks more
All I had to do was go to the door
Grab his leash
Which hung on the railing
And the sound of the metal clip
Hitting the railing as it was pulled
Would get Otis to leave whatever spot he was hanging at
And run down the stairs
to the door
barely stopping at the bottom of the stairs
barely not running into the door
For 12 years –
Since he was a puppy -
Otis was part of our family
Ever since Kelly and CathleenWent to the Guilford dog pound
“just to look” they said
But, of course,
They couldn’t “just look”
No one with a heart
Can ”just look” at the pound
So they saw Otis
With his big eyes
Big floppy ears
And even then he had big hairy paws
And he had what we swear was a big smile
everytime we looked at him.
Kelly and Cathleen knew
He was our dog
Otis had a bounce in his walk
Especially when he was young
Especially when he saw a squirrel
Otis would sit on the top of the foyer stairs
Like a majestic library lion
So he was the first family member
Anyone saw
When they entered our home
He would share his dog mattress
In the corner of the living room
With the cats
Whenever they felt like joining him
When Jack was just learning to walk
He would plop down
With his baby bottle
On the mattress with Otis as well
Otis didn’t mind.
He would adjust
And go back to his rest
Very little bothered Otis
He was just cool
AndIn the evening
If Kelly or the kids
Would blow off my invitation
To watch a game
Or a movie
Otis was usually right there with me
Unless, of course, he decided to take my spot
On the bed
Because even though Otis was a big dog
I think he still thought of himself
As a puppy
Or someone much smaller than he actually was
ButLike all of us
He slowed a little as he got older
And a few weeks back
When stones clogged his bladder
And cut up his insides
He couldn’t walk any longer
So, to end his suffering
Otis had to go down
Now there’s a void
That even our cats
Bandit and Midnight
Seem to feel
Otis is no longer sitting at the top of the stairs
And his leash doesn’t hang on the railing by the door
But he’ll always be a part of us

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One more thought about Otis
Turning 50 doesn’t make me feel old
Being a grandfather doesn’t make me feel old
My girls – the members of the youth soccer team I coach –
Moving on to the high school freshman high school team
Essentially ending my coaching career
Doesn’t make me feel old
When my hot late-20-something co-worker
At the book store where I worked part time
Thumbed through my CDs and said,
"Hey, this is the same stuff my father listens to."
That didn’t make me feel old
(well, not too old!)
But when Otis
Our family dog of 12 years
Died recently
Putting an end to the 12 year tradition of
Long morning walks
I realized that a phase of my life
Which I never gave a second thought to
Was over
And I wondered how many phases I had left
And if any would include anyone as cool as Otis
And that the last phase would always just be a memory
From this point on...
That made me feel old!