Tony, Frank and the Others (March 2002)

Tony would make his way to the dining hall at Langley Air Force Base
Just about every morning
At 3 a.m.
"Can't sleep, mind if I grab a cup?" he would ask
his wavy hair always looked uncombed
a cigarette was always hanging from his mouth
"Go ahead. It's fresh," I'd say.

He wouldn't say too much else to me
in 1975 I was just a 17-year-old kid to him
when I first met him I had only been in the service – the Air Force - for three months
he was "back to the world," as they would say
just back from Vietnam
I didn't know shit

Tony only had three years on me
but he semed so much older
when he was my age
he was training for his first tour of combat duty
but, after yet another sleeples night,
he'd sit and sip his coffee
and within a half hour
one by one
he be joined by about eight other Vietnam combat Vets

they couldn't sleep either
so they made their way to the dining hall
Sgt. Wireman and myself
we worked the overnight shift
we knew they would be coming
so we would put the coffee on
sometimes Wireman would make some pastries
or put out some fruit and cereal for them
"You have to respect what these guys did"
Wireman would say
"No one wanted to do what they did.
Not even them.
But they did it."

They'd grab their coffee
sit at the tables and talk
sometimes voices raised
sometimes in a whisper
sometimes through a tear
They were there for each other
sometimes I'd hear what they were saying
Man, I thought, that's nothing like the war I heard about

Tony was always the first one there
we'd strike up a light, meaningless conversation
I'd tell him about my day trips to Virginia Beach;
my constant searches for pot and pussy
and he'd smile and look distracted

once, while telling him about a concert I saw in Hampton
he asked, out of nowhere,
"Do you know what it's like to owe your life to someone else?"
"Well, no," I started to say.
"I am only alive,
I'm only here,
because someone else had the balls to save me," he said.
"Someone carried me to safety after I was shot.
What can you ever do to thank someone for that?"

He walked away before I could respond
which was good
because I had no response

Frank was a little older - probably in his early 30s
and he would come in every night as well
"How about a cup for a freedom fighter down on his luck?"
he would laugh, holding up an empty coffee cup
his red hair slicked back
“Help yourself,” I’d say.

during the course of their visits
if they neded more coffee, Frank would yell,
"Can we get another pot of coffee for the out-of-work peacekeepers?"
I didn't realize I was being set-up
but the first time I bit and yelled back
"Coffee's ready for the Peacekeepers"
he jumped at the chance:
"Peacekeepers? You say we were Peacekeepers?"
he didn't wait for an answer
(again, that was good because I never knew how to respond to these
guys).
"You know what they say, don't you?
Fighting for peace, is like fucking for virginity!
Peacekeepers my ass!," he'd howl

these were some good guys
and they each went through a Hell only a couple of them volunteered for

before I joined the service
I was opposed to the war
after meeting Tony, Frank and the others
I was still opposed to the war
especially after hearing some of their stories
and seeing how it affected them

one by one,
by the end of 1975
those guys were transfered to another base
or were dischargd
and as each left,
there were big hugs and tearful good-byes

I have no clue what happened to any of them
but I've been thinking about them a lot lately
because now I see another war
and I see the young faces of American "peacekeepers"
on the tv, in the newspaper and on the internet
and I wonder
after once seeing,
and listening to,
Tony, Frank and the others
how this country could possibly embrace a military action with such enthusiasm
because I'm convinced
another year or two from now
on military bases - and probably beyond
there will be groups of guys like
Tony and Frank
awake through the night
where they can be protected by the dark
talking with each other,
working through the shit they went through
and probably thinking
for various reasons
that they fought in the war to end them all
and standing nearby
on the sidelines
someone like me
who takes it all in
and, after hearing everything,
thinks there's no fucken way we would be sucked into military action
like that again
then does nothing
no small part
to oppose our government's military mindset

and
sure enough
it hapens
all over again