Uncomfortable Misery

(For Henry - I wrote this after spending the night sleeping in a box on the green - until the box collapsed - and couldn't get my mind off a friend of mine who is a brilliant poet but regularly homeless because of the torment he goes through with his illness.)

The light from a full moon
Stretches through the dark clouds
Occasionally shining wide through an opening
Providing a light
And an almost surrealistic
Glow
Onto the quiet
Night
street
nearby.
From my refrigerator box
Which I hoped would protect me
From the elements tonight
I scanned the area
Looking for an alternate shelter
If I needed
To protect me from the rain
Or those who are desperately trying to find me
Where would I g?
Where could I go?
Where would I go?
At one point
I awoke to hear the raindrops hitting my box.
Still half-asleep
I try to recall where I hard them before.
I’m sure I heard them
Hitting a window once
Although I can’t
For the life of me
Remember when.
It was a time
When I had a warm bed
And a roof
Over my head
And a safe, warm spot
I called home
But I can’t
Go back to that life
I swear to God
They would kill me
If I return
I don’t stand a chance
They will find me
And kill me
If I ever went back.
The raindrops
Pelt the box
With more furry
Although the swirling
Breeze
Caresses my face
And the smell
Of the wet trees
And grass
Lingers in the air
For the taking.
The brief refreshing
Almost cleansing
Feeling
Soon gives way
When my box
Fails me
And caves in
Because of the rain.
Driven from my spot
To sleep
I go to an awning
In front of
A small building
To keep dry
Then to a 24 hour store
To get warm
Then to a grocery store
To grab some grapes
And to an endless
Series
Of stores
And coffee shops
Until my feet feel
Almost dry
Almost
Warm.
But never feeling
Comfortable
In this imposed
Misery.
So when
Did I deserve this?
When was this sentence
Passed down?
Why have you forsaken me?
What was the crime
That put me on the run
Carrying the cross
Of my misery
To fend for myself
For the rest
Of my
Fucken
Life?