Where Are You - January 2008

Another Bounced Check (another arguement, another beer, another fantasy about spending a day with her...) or Could I be any more predictable... or a Last Poem for Someone who Probably Won't See It... or Peter Pan called and wants his mojo back... or did you know the middle word in life is "if"...or The Dude Abides!


There’s a woman
I dream of
Who I met
Years ago

Whose freckles
Knowing smile and
Auburn hair
Are burned forever
In my mind

We would
Hang out together
For days on end
And
I swear
There was spark
(a real spark)
Each time we kissed

She was playful
And warm
And had a wild streak
That ran through
Her bones

Whenever I would
hold her
or when I was
inside her
everything was perfect
in my world

But flings in your 20s
always give way
to reality in your 30s
(and 40s, and 50s…)
And before you know it
You’re married
to a wonderful person
and have beautiful children

But the once light
newly-wed conversations
turn to finances
and home repairs
and whose picking up the kids

And the playfulness
at times turns to resentment
and distance
When the bills pile up
and one job
turns to two
and she questions
why we should even be struggling
(like OUR financial problems are MY fault)
And I question
Why I need this bullshit
(like OUR frustrations are HER fault)

And we both wonder
why life
can’t be simpler
and fun
like it was years ago

I miss her terribly
That woman I knew years ago
I sometimes plot
ways to try and find her
even though
she’s right here in bed next to me
at home

And I’m sure
she wonders
where I went
although I swear
I’ve been here all along

But with all that
goes on
In a relationship
(and life!)
Those two lovers
from way back when,
unjaded by the
fucked-up realities
of the real world
(and who are often
elevated
to an unattainable
savior status)
are probably long gone
which is too bad
because they are
…sometimes…
missed
And would be a
welcomed sight
right about now.