The Bass Man (August 2001)

The Bass Man August 2001

I am the bass man
I play the bass
I don't get watched much when I play bass
I like that
Most people watch the singer or guitarist
so I get to watch the people

the drummer pouts
the drummer desperately wants to be watched
not me
I am the bass man
I play the bass

I spotted you sitting on a stool against a brick
pillar in the bar
your black shirt made you blend
into the dim lit room
your contagious smile broke through the crowd
it tugged on my shirt
you didn't see me

no one sees me
I like that

I caught a glimpse of you often
as you laughed with your friends
or when you sipped your beer
or just sat there and looked inviting

I wanted to walk over and give you a slow
soft
lengthy kiss
you would be surprised
I would say that I couldn't resist
I would say that I would like to explain
but couldn¹t explain
I'd have to run
After all
I'm actually playing the bass
I am the bass man
I play the bass

women don't hit on the bass player
they usually hit on the singer or guitarist
and if they talk to anyone else but them
the drummer rushes over

Once, though, a woman said she loved the way the bass
lines melodically weaved
through the songs we were playing
this woman understands the bass, I thought
“I bet your fingers could do wonders to a girls body,”
she said
placing her hand on my chest to keep her balance as
she leaned over and
spoke to me while her breath, equal parts Sam Adams,
Marlboros and
spearmint
gum, brushed the side of my face
I was hard at that point

But I couldn't fuk her
(I wanted to)
I don't think my wife,
who was home with our four kids,
would understand
I introduced her to the drummer
I went back to playing the bass
after all,
I am the bass man
I play the bass

After the last song of the night
we pack up the equipment
we lug it back to our basement rehearsal space
so our work is not done for a few hours
although the singer never moves much equipment

some people come over
and tell us we sounded great
I still see you at the bar
white pants and black shirt and a killer smile that
breaks through the
smoke
and stale stink
Some people want us to sign CDs
that's cool

you stop by as you head to the door
you smile and say, “You guys sounded great.”
I want to say something clever enough to make you lose
that guy you¹re
with
“Thanks,” said the drummer walking over
“I'm glad you liked it,” he adds as she walks out

“Someone should chain you to the drum set,” I tell the
drummer.
“Right, like she was talking to you,” he said.
“Bass players,” he adds. “You always think the women
are looking at
you.”

drummers are idiots
I'm not
I'm the bass man
I play the bass