Pinwheels for Whirled Peace at Cederhurst

Whirled Peace

The students at Cederhurst School put this together. A great bunch of kids!

Pinwheels at Cederhurst

Symphony for a Jersey Girl - September 2002

Symphony for a Jersey Girl -
(or I was never really in freehold in 1975 - so no one I know from Freehold would ever take part in such activities - especially with me!)
(Also this is the third, and so far last, in the "27 years ago" trilogy. Also see (only if you want) past postings titled "27 Years Ago" and "Tony and Frank and Me.")


Early October evening
1975
Sitting on a couch on your parents enclosed porch
In Freehold, New Jersey

We can hear your parents chuckle at some stupid TV sitcom
But we have other things in mind:
Listening to the radio playing quietly behind us and
Heavy petting…
We both were in a frantic purr…

This had really gone
Playfully
Much further than a front porch session should
But your breasts, hips, thighs, stomach, neck –hell… everything…
We soft and welcoming to my touch
I loved halter tops
And low cut jeans
And your hand on my lap

We looked in each other’s eyes
“how far could this go?...”
We could have jumped in the car
and hit the beach
but that would have been too easy
your parents were only a room away
and they still sounded pretty occupied with the television

still hot
still close
still undecided on what to do
until “Thunder Road” came on the radio
and that made it a fete a compli
(hey, it’s Jersey, 1975!, I bet this happened a lot!..)

with a jacket and blanket tossed over the lower half of our bodies and enough clothing adjusted to make it work, you positioned yourself on my lap and we were together…

I bit on the sleeve of a jacket that was tossed on the back of the couch because I feared that I would make enough noise to distract your parents from the television show they were watching
(although we certainly had to be putting on a more entertaining show!)

You playfully bit onto a piece of the jacket as well and started a little tug of war. We tugged that jacket to the end and let it drop to the floor when we were finished so we could kiss some more.
We were in no hurry to move.
I didn’t give a shit who might have walked in.
I was just content having you close enough so I could count all your wonderful freckles.
It really could have lasted forever, but it was over as soon as we heard your father move from his favorite chair in front of the television.

We quickly readjusted and moved outside to the front steps and hard a few cigarettes.
We were in our own little world talking.
We talked on your front steps a lot back then.
I loved talking to you.
Your voice mixing with the breeze
As it blew through the trees
was soothing.
Everyday, it seemed, we talked on those steps about everything
Including future dreams

None of those dreams touched on
What would be the reality of the next 27 years
Bills, mortgage, finding a job, keeping a job, finishing school, sometimes working two jobs, loving you, sometimes not liking you- but still loving you, and raising kids.

And now, 27 years later, you fear that you are old
You’re starting to think that you look old
And that makes you feel old
Nonsense!
The lines – the few lines – on your face
The lines that upset you so much
To me, they are like a roadmap
Each leading to a piece of the world we shared
A reminder of where we’ve been
That’s what I see
Those are good lines.

Sure, we don’t look the same as we did way back then
(I was 155 pounds then)
And, over the years, we found that the time we have for each other
Let alone for ourselves
Grows less and less
But some things don’t change
I still love the sound of your voice,
Even though you are convinced that I don’t listen to a word you say

And, at times, we seem to go full circle
Like the other morning
A chilly October Connecticut morning
2002
We held each other
We kissed each other
We touched each other
We looked in each others eyes
“how far could this go?”

The kids were a room away
Preoccupied with television
Actually, they are oblivious to everything
When “Arthur” comes on each morning

So we made love
And this time I bit a pillow
so the kids wouldn’t hear
but there were no cigarettes afterwards
We were up making the kids’ lunches for school
and getting ourselves ready for work

But everytime I look at you
Whether it is looking at you while
We make love
Or if I just take a minute
To watch you cook,
Read a book,
Or interact with the kids at home,
I don’t see the same thing you do
I don’t see old
(like Carey Grant tells Loretta Young in “The Bishops Wife”, “The only people who are old are the ones that were born old.”)
That’s not who you are.
Don’t let those age lines – those few lines -
Get INSIDE your head.
I look at you and still see that girl
On the front steps in Jersey
Beautiful, energetic and young.
That… is really you

Do A Good Turn Daily

Do A Good Turn Daily - The Scouts have a good idea with this!

The Day After Warren Died - September 2007

The Day After Warren Died - September 2007

The day after Warren Hensley died
The rain and overcast morning
was eventually
pushed aside
by the sun
making way for a powder blue sky
with clouds, white and fluffy
that oddly seemed closer to earth than usual
they stretched for what looked like eternity
Standing on a high point, a scenic setting in Hartford
Outside a hotel near the airport
The trees and hills rolled for miles
I thought about Warren
And how he would always talk about the outdoors

Warren had been lingering
In the back of my mind
Most of the morning
Ever since I first heard
In a voicemail
That he died of cancer
At 51

Funny, the way the day turned out
I figured it was the kind of day
Warren would enjoy

Todd Rundgren wrote
And I believed him
“Never fear for you are
living in eternal mind…”
eternal mind, I thought, provided comfort
for the dead
or those in despair
for everyone else
the line was inspirational
I equate eternal mind
with the sky
where dreams and
inspiration
could float
with the clouds
or glide through the rain
Where we could look and
remember the inspiration
we received from others,
like the smile, stories sense of humor
and occasional,
good natured,
but still biting
commentary I will remember
Warren for

But even that thought
made me chuckle
while looking at the sky
the day after Warren died
because I knew if I told him about my theories
on eternal mind
and Eastern Intrigue in general
he would dismiss it
with a smile
and a wave of his hand
“Eastern intrigue.
I don’t need any of that shit.
All I need is a nice lake
a fishing pole
and some
fish that are biting.”

Warren and I sold betting slips
at a teletheater in New Haven
Warren could talk horses
With the “old timers” –
the gentlemen betters -
and he could talk horses
with the new guys -
the Thugs -
He could talk to anyone really
he had that type of personality
And he would always
talk about the outdoors:
fishing in mountain streams
running his kayak through the rapids
or camping and hiking in the wilderness

Mostly, for Warren,
life seemed to be about the fishing…
and the grandkids who called him Poppy

For Warren,
I’ll forget about the eternal mind theory
(which I think we all exist within)
For Waren we’ll keep it real
For Warren
when I see a day
Warren would enjoy
I’ll figure he is
In a nice lake somewhere
Fishing pole in hand
And fish -
BIG fish -
biting

For Warren
We could pause for a moment
and appreciate the day
and then go
live the hell out of it

THAT, I think,
He will appreciate

Peace

Peyton at Kelly's Garden

Peyton - who is the cutest girl in the world - at Kelly's Garden.

Kelly's Garden

Hanging out at Kelly's Garden is what I will probably miss most about summer