Birdhouse at the Community Garden

Happy Birthday Rory!

Rory

When Rory was three, back in the mid-80s,
whenever we would enter the Chapel Square Mall in downtown New Haven
he would put his hand out towards me
as he started his trot
to the large water fountain next to the escalator.
I would put some change in his hands,
then watch as he ran to the fountain and threw the coins in.
Sometimes I would have to grab the back of his shirt because I feared the momentum of his throw would thrust him into the water.
"What did you wish for, Rory?" I would ask each time, knowing he would never tell me.
He would always look up at me with an innocent smile and say, "Something good."
Rory is not small anymore.
Rory went off to college
and, after 9/11, left college to join the Army.
Now he is off fighting a war in the Middle East.
I walk through the mall a lot since he left; I work nearby.
There are not as many stores there anymore.
There are not as many people there either.
It's kind of a sad mall,
but little kids still throw coins in the fountain.
I remember hanging out with Rory there like it was yesterday.
I can still hear the sounds of packed stores; smell the hot dogs and Orange Julius;
and see the people hustling by with shopping bags.
I miss those days when Rory was my little buddy.
He even listened to what I had to say then as we walked hand-in-hand through downtown New Haven.
I still want to hold him; to protect him and shield him from the ills of the world.
But those days, like the coins Rory tossed in the fountain, are long gone.
He's very much on his own now.
I did toss a coin in the fountain the other day
and I wished for "something good" –
a lot of "something good" actually –
for Rory

Jamie

Jamie – December 2006

The mall haunts me
as I sell books
and try to block out
the 77 other stores
filling this building

But it is not the other stores
that haunts me
Or the fact that in 1969
I would ride my bike there
or take an hour’s bus ride
to meet my girlfriend
who lived nearby
We’d duck into the woods
which is now
parking lot A-10
and make out
A couple of 13-year-olds
Looking for paradise in those woods

But I’m haunted by something else
A store that stands no more

It was about 1975
that my cousin Jamie
got a job in the mall
A piano salesman
He’d spend all day
playing the grandest pianos around

Easy going and funny
Janie’s thick black curly hair
would bounce along the shoulders
of his suit
as he played

he was always in a suit
he was always smiling
he was always playing

The last time
I saw Jamie in the mall
he played
Mind Games
by John Lennon
smooth and flowing
so the people strolling by
(and probably his boss in the back room)
would think it was a classical piece

“And really,” Jamie said, “it is classical, now, isn’t it?”

While playing, Jamie recounted
how he got some acid the other night
that was soo good
he and his friend were lost for three hours
a couple of nights earlier
only to discover
they drove his friends car
into the back yard
and weren’t moving

“But, hey,” Jamie said. “We had ‘The Lamb’ on
8-track
to keep us engaged.”

(NOTE to all you non-proggers:
The Lamb is the Genesis masterwork,
“The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway.”)

Nothing ever seemed like it got Jamie down
he rarely seemed upset
his flowing relaxividy
and constant smileology
were contagious

Every time I would go to visit Jamie
and as I left
I would hear the sound of the piano
filling the corridor of the mall
I knew it was Jamie

But that store is long gone now
and Jamie is gone as well
dead for many years
since an early morning
car accident
took him away at 23
The only thing
that could have saved him
we were told
was a seat belt
a seat belt
he should be here today

It’s sad
such a cool guy
who I wish my kids
had a chance to meet
is gone

And
while working in the mall
every once in awhile
when my mind drifts away from the books
and there is a piano playing
in the piped in, background music
I sometimes think
for a brief second
that the sound of the piano
is drifting towards me
from a piano store
and then I catch myself
(and later regret that I caught myself)
and am transported back to reality
although I don’t want to be
I really want to drift back to the piano store
I want to have
one more visit
With Jamie




One last thought:
Please buckle-up

Just Add Sugar Cafe

If you are ever traveling through Milford, PA, you should stop by this little piece of heaven!

Don't I know You?

Don’t I Know You? – February 2007

It’s been 37 years
And we both said
the other looked great
- that time has
treated us well –
But that’s bullshit
I tried hard to
find that girl
- a glimpse of her –
as we talked
briefly
in front of the Waldenbooks
at the Trumbull mall

We covered all the topics
on the
“Haven’t seen you in ages”
checklist...

spouse – check
kids – check
still in the area – check
work – check

I had to smile
when I finally saw it
There she was
for a second;
The 13-year-old
my first love
and she smiled back
like she knew what I discovered
“Those two kids are so far away,” she said, adding,
"God, I wish I knew where that girl went."

The meeting was brief
She had to leave
to get home
and I had to get back to work
We didn’t bother with the
“Let’s keep in touch” bullshit

So like we did when we both were 13
we moved on
It was nice running into her

And later
I wished I had told her
that the young girl we both knew
way back when
was not so far away
She was still alive
and vibrant
and wearing bell bottoms
and a tank top
and laughing at the silliest things
and hanging out
by the stream
near her parents old house
with a young skinny kid
in long brown hair, torn jeans and t-shits
She may be what keeps that skinny kid alive

That girl never went away, I guess
She always lived
right here
But that’s probably not
what you say
at the mall